How can this be???

How can one feel like their doing the best they ever have in regards to their spiritual life, yet feel like their everyday life is crumbling in every possible way?!?!?! In the last six months I have felt closer to God then ever. I was starting, for the first time, to feel strong enough to spread my wisdom about the love of Jesus to my loved ones with out the fear of them laughing at me or shunning me. So I began this summer with my father, step mother, and two brothers coming in town for a six week visit. I was prepared and in my heart excited to really share the gospel. I didn't feel like a baby any more with buckling knees needing to brace myself on the furniture to get where I needed to go with my witnessing. I felt like a proud five year old heading off to the first day of kindergarten with my brand new shoes ( the love of Jesus) on and ready to take on the world. Oh but how I was so wrong. Ever since day one of my parents visit I have been in a worldly Disaster!!!!! Over and over I was knocked off my spiritual "high". It was like no matter how much I kept hearing God tell me what to say or do next I just couldn't. It was like I was in a pit of quicksand and sinking fast and He was on one end saying "If you just listen to me, I will get you through this" and devil was on the other side just cracking up at me saying "See I told you, you were a failure" This continued as the weeks went on and I just kept sinking and sinking. That brings me to about week 4 of my parents visit and about four family fights later where I always seem to be the center of because I just can't see why my parents the very people that are supposed to have wisdom and guidance for me and my siblings seem to be spreading ugliness, bitterness,gossip and hatefulness. And me being me always thinking I have to protect the ones I love stood up to battle for my siblings only to have them turn their heads like they had no idea what I was talking about. So here we are week 4 in their visit and I again being me want to protect my loved ones invited four of my family members to live with my family to help them get up on their feet. I again felt Jesus had prepared me to handle this sort of thing with plenty of wisdom of His love to spread to them. My house was in a solid routine, my children behaving well, my spiritual devotion stronger then ever, and my husband and I better then ever so what the hey lets share God's glory with other's right?!?! WRONG ...Again I am in the sand pit this time all the way up to my chest...God saying "If you just listen to me, I will get you through this" and the devil on the other side cracking up saying "See I told you, you were a failure". I shout "I AM LISTENING GOD I TRULY AM BUT I JUST CAN'T GET OUT OF HERE!!!!!" I feel Him I hear Him but I can't get out of this pit. Every step I take I sink even more. As you can probably tell the new four roommates aren't working out so well. Most things you can imagine to go wrong has went wrong and guess what I have handled each of the situations all wrong as well. As a result I have been stripped of all strength I thought I once had. Just utterly weak. Wondering what happened here. Does this mean all that Jesus I felt and still feel in my blood isn't and wasn't really there?!?! Or does this mean Satan is REALLY not happy about me spreading Jesus' love to the ones he has?!?!? I am worn out, exhausted, beat up, run through the mud, and oh so up to my neck in the pit. But as I sit here and wipe away the tears all I can think about is how much I can still feel God calling me and reaching His hand out to me saying "I am here...I am right here....You just have to listen to me!" I have realised I have NOT been doing what God has called me to do which is care for my husband and kids...tend to their needs....to give them the best of me....instead I have chased my parents and siblings around carrying their burdens, picking up their messes, giving them the best of me!! Here I thought I was serving God by trying to spreading His love to all the people I loved and really I WAS serving Him I was just spreading it to all the WRONG people.....It is supposed to be spread to my husband and children first and then if I have some left over to give, THEN it goes to the rest. Phewww..........I just want to lift my hands and shout " THANK YOU LORD FOR YET AGAIN OPENING MY EYES TO YOUR TRUTH AND YOUR GRACE AND YOUR GLORY AND THANK YOU LORD FOR CHOOSING ME TO SPREAD LOVE TO MY HUSBAND AND CHILDREN AND I AM SORRY I WAS BLIND TO WHAT YOUR WILL WAS AND THANK YOU FOR SHOWING ME THE WAY!!! I have to say what a blessing it is that God lead me to read Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World so I could at the exact moment read what drew me to God's Truth and open my eyes to what He was trying to say all along.......

"My Yolk is easy, and my burden is light.I will never ask you to carry more then you can bear."